So, this week we are going to talk about not comics, but posts. The guy who does the vast majority of posting on Penny Arcade is the lovable writer, Tycho. However, if you are a Penny Arcade reader, you might have noticed that Tycho likes to be very descriptive and he has an extensive vocabulary. More extensive than mine. Actually, more extensive than almost anyone who is not an English major or currently studying for their GRE’s like Dawn (and has vocabulary cards all over the place!).
Therefore, today’s post is a collection of some of Tycho’s most recent remarks, and some translations to help all the rest of us understand him better! Although you may know some of these already, you could learn some new words to impress your friends!
July 12th
“Because I am not a Dragon Quest Man, having only experienced dalliances at various times, or been exposed to real fervor on the part of its adherents, I don’t actually know which things I’m supposed to get excited about as a “true fan” so there’s always a low-level vibration of reflected joy.”
dalliances: a trifling away of time; dawdling
fervor: great warmth and earnestness of feeling
adherents: a person who follows or upholds a leader, cause, etc.; supporter; follower.
He’s saying that he’s only played bits and pieces and hasn’t had a true fanboy tell him how awesome the game is.
July 16th
“The searing heat and novel zoo creatures of his salvo notwithstanding, I understand some portion of his torment. “
salvo: a simultaneous or successive discharge of artillery, bombs,etc.
He’s saying that although Mel Gibson said some really insane shit, he understands in his own way.
July 9th
“There is no clemency for assumptions of any kind, other than the assumption that the massively multiplayer genre as it stands is reeking necropolis of shit.”
clemency: an act or deed showing mercy or leniency
necropolis: a cemetery, esp. one of large size and usually of an ancientcity
He’s saying that he won’t forgive any assumptions about MMOs except that they suck, a lot.
June 30th
“On a platform with its share of controversy, sequestering what was once an inherent function is a decision that still nettles.”
sequestering: to remove or separate
nettles: to irritate, annoy, or provoke
He’s saying if your system has problems, changing something that everyone is used to is going to piss everyone off
“I can recall coming home from junior high one day, opening the refrigerator to drink milk in a wholly unauthorized fashion, and finding that a shelf and a half of the device had been turned over to phalanx upon phalanx of Yoplait Strawberry Yogurt.”
phalanx: a compact or closely massed body of persons, animals, orthings.
He’s saying that he was getting some milk to drink out of the container and there was a shitton of Strawberry Yogurt in the fridge.
June 21st
“Secreting Digestive Ichor”
Ichor: an acrid, watery discharge, as from an ulcer orwound.
He’s saying it makes you drool.
June 9th
“I can accomplish virtually any electronic task that needs accomplishing with the iPhone, and do it anywhere, a statement of unassailable fact that the new iPhone imbues with even greater truth. There might come a day where I don’t feel like a twat using an iPad in a public place, but that day isn’t here yet. It’s a little too ostentatious, like toting around a scepter. I don’t like it. The only thing it can do that my iPhone can’t is be more expensive.”
unassailable: not subject to denial or dispute
imbues: to impregnate or inspire, as with feelings, opinions, etc.
ostentatious: characterized by or given to pretentious or conspicuous showin an attempt to impress others
scepter: a rod or wand borne in the hand as an emblem of regal orimperial power.
He’s saying that the new iPhone can definitely do everything the iPad can do and he feels like he looks a little too high-and-mighty carrying around the freakin’ huge iPad just to have it.
April 28th
“The conviviality and natural flow of the conversation began to disintegrate as the race progressed, slowing and then ceasing altogether, like the dwindling reports from a bag of microwave popcorn. “
conviviality: friendly; agreeable
disintegrate: to separate into parts or lose intactness or solidness; breakup; deteriorate
ceasing: to stop; discontinue
dwindling: to become smaller and smaller; shrink; waste away
He’s saying the everyone was being nice, but as they raced, the conversation got less and less until it was gone, kind of like the pops from microwave popcorn while you cook it.
And there you have just a small sampling, and translation, from some choice posts from the last few months. I love Tycho, but I have a PhD and still need a dictionary sometimes! On the other hand, if you are studying for a vocabulary heavy exam, read away, just keep your dictionary nearby, or Dictionary.com in an adjacent tab!
Girls Are Geeks 
Jul 16, 2010 @ 13:01:54
I understand the vocab, but I do have a degree in English. What sets him apart is that this vocabulary just flows forth. He doesn’t have to put a lot of thought into using them. They are his, he is their master.
Jul 16, 2010 @ 13:51:48
I will admit, he does an excellent job of using the English language, and my English-major husband appreciates it more than the scientist (that’s me!). Fun to read still.
Rosalind
Jul 16, 2010 @ 19:06:20
That’s hilarious. I usually understand the point of Tycho’s post, but these “translations” were funny!
Jul 16, 2010 @ 20:11:15
Yeah, I understand them too, but I just think it would be easier if he said it my way! Glad you enjoyed.