How To Approach A (Hopefully) Single Geek

I’ve noticed that many of us here are going places soon, there is a lot of talk about Dragon*Con and of course I’m going to PAX with Dawn and Gardella. If you are the single type, this is probably a good place to try and meet someone with similar interests to you, and so we want to give you some Do’s and Don’ts in our personal opinions of dealing with Geeks of interest. This was a brainstormed list of what the three of us (Rosalind, Dawn, and Gardella) would want, so if you have ideas, extensions, or suggestions, please add them in the comments!

DO: Try and determine obvious relationship status first. Check the left hand for rings, see if the person appears to be a little up close and personal with another person. If not, then at least you can say you tried.

DO: Begin with the mindset that you are looking to make a good friend. Considering how awesome geek friends are, if a new friend is all you get out of this, that’s a pretty good deal.

DON’T: Be obviously cruisin’ for a hook-up and don’t let your hands wander. Geeks like to be physical as much as the next person, but we, as a whole, tend to over-analyze and are likely to overreact in one way or a another to uncertain contact.

DO: Travel in groups. It is way less creepy for a few friends to approach a a few people and make a new, larger cluster. Also, it gives you more ways to get to know each other and more people to meet.

DO: Feel free to crack a joke to start a conversation.

DON’T: Joke about the person you are interested in or their friends. The best kind of humor comes from shared situations, such as things you do or see while waiting in lines. I started a whole conversation last year about the usefulness of portals to extend some of the signing lines. Really, why aren’t portal guns common use at cons?

DO: Try and get cues about the person’s fandoms. Check out their clothes, bags, accessories, etc.

DON’T: Stalk. Be observant, but don’t stare or try and shuffle through anyone’s stuff.

DO: Talk about fandoms that you are both into. Make good, specific references and to things that cue that person into the fact that you really like this fandom. Talk about new information if you have some. Be specific. Drop some awesome references, but only if they make sense.

DON’T: Act pretentious. Assume that the person you are speaking to has just as much knowledge as you. Ask them questions and opinions, but don’t drop knowledge and act smug. Geeks hate that.

DON’T: Pretend to know about fandoms you don’t or pretend to like things you are not interested in. First of all, Geek’s know their fandoms, and if you mess up they will catch you. Second, if you want this to last at all, you can’t be lying. Actually, in my experience a little bit of debate can be a good start. My husband and I originally met due to our completely opposite opinions on David Duchovny leaving the X-files.

DO: Shower if you want to talk to people. Con stink is bad news.

There you go. Some simple tips to help you on your way to a new relationship, whether it be a friend or something, well, more.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. angela
    Aug 30, 2010 @ 15:18:14

    This is fantastic. I will share with all my friends.


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August 2010
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