10. Taking a challenge word/idea just a little too far. Playing the “how many times can I use the word” game rarely works. Here’s one where the challenge was: use an idiom. Spoiler warning for Supernatural post-season 3, although the spoilers are minimal.
“Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!” Sam shouted at his slowly rousing brother.
“Watch it, Mr. cheerful, or you’ll be sleeping with the fishes.”
“Ah, all bark and no bite. You were three sheets to the wind last night, water?”
Dean shook his head.
“Well, you can lead a horse to water …”
“Aren’t you the pot calling the kettle black. I think they put the whole nine yards in that drink you had.”
“I only do that once in a blue moon, you are like a moth to a flame.”
“Hey, don’t rain on my parade. Dollar beer nights ain’t exactly a dime a dozen these days.”
“Anyway, we have bigger fish to fry, and you can’t exactly fly by the seat of your pants while fighting the devil.”
“I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.” Dean thumbed toward Castiel. “Plus, we still have our ace in the hole, he’ll find the Big Guy.”
Sam sighed. “I’d love to see Lucifer have to face the music.”
Dean shrugged. “I guess that’s all she wrote.”
Castiel looked confused. “Funny. I knew all those words, but I have no idea what you just said.”
They just laughed.
9. Swapped gender stories. They aren’t the same character if they are a different gender, they just aren’t, and where did my hot guy go?
8. First person stories that change from character to character. Who’s talking? What now?
7. Willful deception by the author to create a cute twist at the end. It may be an amusing twist, but it’s awfully annoying! Unfortunately, I definitely do this.
A Scary Evening
Sam looked around him nervously as he walked. He had just had an encounter with both a werewolf and a vampire, and wasn’t interested in dealing with any more creatures.
Sam knocked on the door. Please be home. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. To his relief, his knock was answered. He quickly entered and slammed the door behind him and sat down on the couch. “Thank God I’m out of that insanity.”
Suddenly, he felt hands rubbing his shoulders. “Sam, you are so tense!” Jess exclaimed.
“Have I mentioned how much I hate Halloween?”
6. Crushing canon. I don’t mind squishing the edges of canon here and there, but please don’t destroy it!
5. Dialogue that doesn’t work. There are some things certain characters just wouldn’t say. Yeah, I’m guilty of this one, but the situation was just so funny and wouldn’t leave my brain!
“Dude, we totally nailed it! 95%! Awesome!” Sam came down to Dean with Castiel trailing behind him.
Dean gave his brother a smirk. “Umm, sure, if you call that shrieking sound you were making in place of Bon Jovi awesome.”
Castiel looked at Sam and Dean. “I am beginning to enjoy this strange game of Rock Band. The circular tapping things are … fun.”
Dean sighed. “That’s it, no more vodka or Rock Band for you two tonight.”
Cas frowned and pointed toward some guys. “But they want to play AC/DC with us next.”
“All right,” Dean agreed. “Last song.”
3. Mary Sue. She’s always around just when you don’t want her. Getting with your favorite character, saving the day, with her perfect curls, purple eyes, and strange middle name. Freakin’ Mary Sue.
2. Excessive spelling and punctuation mistakes. Haven’t you seen the Mr. Period comic? Check that out man!
1. Failure to warn about slash BEFORE it happens! There is a deep pit in Hell beside the Winchesters for people who don’t label their slash.
There you have it. All my pet peeves about fanfiction, including those that I am guilty of. Just for fun, here is another of my badly written drabbles to end this post with, and then you can tell me what annoys you about my fanfiction!
“Come on, Sam! It’s summer!” Dean’s voice pleaded with a childlike whine. His brother was not moved.
“No way. There are probably leeches in there.”
“Your loss, man!” Dean stripped down to his boxers and headed into the sparkling blue water.
“Dean …” His brother’s voice was lost as he dived into the lake, allowing his weight to pull his body below the surface to the cool water below.
He floated to the surface and stared upward at the cloudless sky.
A wave crashed onto his head, ending his reverie. A laugh drifted overhead.
A playful smirk crossed Dean’s face.