Geeking Out Together: A Geeky Relationship in Retrospect

Yesterday was my 3rd wedding anniversary. We both had to work, but we did dress up and have a nice dinner. During dinner, we spent half of the time discussing our plans for PAX Prime this year (less than two months, so exciting!). I was thinking about how appropriate this was to the two of us and our entire relationship, so I thought I would talk for a bit about how two geeks found each other and made something work. I’ve mentioned bits of this here and there, but putting the whole thing in perspective is nice sometimes.
It was sometime in the middle of November, the year 2000. I was heading into the lounge with a friend to watch some ER and found another friend there with two of her friends. One of these I knew from my piano group class, the other I never met before. They let us watch our show in peace, that is, until a commercial for the X-files came one. Now, I’m sure you all know that this was during the period that Mulder was essentially quitting the X-files, and therefore causing quite a disturbance amongst the fans. Well, in response to that commercial I said, “Poor Mulder,” and the guy I didn’t know across the room said, “Fuck Mulder.” Those were the first words I exchanged with my husband.

We had an extended getting to know you period while both of us actually were interested in other people and we were chatting on AIM. I’ll spare you all the drama associated with this story and pretty much mention that we spent a lot of hours typing about the X-files, and a variety of other topics. We may have also bonded over our love of Chasing Amy. Our first “date” was to go see Hannibal. During that date, I may have “suggested” that he put his arm around me. Don’t judge me. It worked.

Well, long story short (and trust me, it is a LONG story), we started dating, and the first thing he did was bring Night of the Living Dead to watch with me. Subsequent dates involved him taping the X-files and bringing the episodes to me to convince me to stay with the show post-Mulder. A cute boy makes everything better, right? Suffice to say, thanks to him I stuck with it until the end, and beyond.

We did go through some rough periods. He imported a GameBoy Advance and played that even when he was supposed to be seeing me. Just to put this in perspective, we saw each other about 3 days once every two weeks, and he spent half of it on his Gameboy. At one point I made a sign that read “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Nintendo.” Bonus points if you know what movie I was mis-quoting. We also had a massive issue when Lord of the Rings came out because he knew I wanted to see it, with him, and he went to see it the morning before coming to see me. Then he wondered why I was mad! He went to see it again with me that evening, so it was okay.

He has put up with a lot from me. I’ve been in love with Johnny Depp (21 Jump Street era), Liam Neeson (Qui-Gon Jinn, mmm), Trey Parker (have you heard him in Cannibal the Musical?), and Wil Wheaton. Wait, I’m still in love with Wil Wheaton. And currently Jared Padalecki (Can you say no to those puppy dog eyes?). But my sweetheart husband gave me his Qui-Gon lego figure (and a lego heart!), bought me Wil Wheaton’s books, and watches Cannibal with me regularly. He may fuss about my current Supernatural obsession, but he bought me the comics.

We’ve increased each other’s geekiness. He got me into Stargate, Vertigo Comics, and RPGs. I introduced him to Babylon 5. We have been arguing over the best Star Trek series for the last 9 years (I’m sorry, but TNG is the best. All you DS9 people can deal. Sisko wasn’t even a captain for like 3 years). He taught me DnD and Magic and I lent him Asimov and David Gerrold books. We discovered BSG and Serenity/Firefly together and have now migrated through two generations of consoles as a household, although I prefer the Wii and he’s the master of the Xbox. The PS3 is mostly decoration, you know.

You know how sometimes you just know you are meant to be with someone, and you don’t even think about the details of it? Well, that’s how we were. After four and a half years together we just sort of assumed nothing was going to change. However, one late night, after coming back to his parent’s place from the bar, we were having one of those “why we don’t get engaged” discussions and he told me that he didn’t know what ring to buy me, and I referenced the Simpsons (and got bonus points for doing so) by saying, “you could propose with an onion ring for all I care.”

Well, it wasn’t an onion ring he found a few minutes later, but the One Ring to rule them all, which he slipped on my finger as he asked me to marry him. I said of course. I mean, the One Ring! The next day we went together a bought a real ring. It’s an amethyst. That’s my birthstone. Also, really cheap.

The wedding was simple. A short ceremony with at least two quotes from the Simpsons and none from the Bible. We wrote our own vows, and he referenced that fateful X-files meeting. The party included a playlist I put together on iTunes with Final Fantasy themes and an Italian buffet. Our wedding invitations had cell-shaded Link and Zelda holding hands, and so did one of our grocery store bought wedding cakes. The other had a Cake album cover on it. Get it, Cake on a cake! We got married on 7/7/7. Then we went to Vegas.

I’ll skip ahead now, and just say that three years later, we still debate the best Star Trek series, wore complementary costumes to Pax East, DVR Caprica and SGU to watch together, and run a Thursday night DnD group. Some couples wear matching shirts on vacation, we wear Penny Arcade t-shirts.

Right now, our anniversary is winding down, and I’m writing this blog article and my husband is playing Split Second. That’s the way we are, and that’s the way we like it.

10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. angiebatgirl
    Jul 08, 2010 @ 10:54:33

    What a wonderful story 🙂

    I’m responsible for my fiance’s ever-growing comic collection and he got me interested in Star Trek. I proposed to him on our 6th anniversary and I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him, even if he won’t admit that Batman is way better than Superman ❤


  2. Ruth
    Jul 08, 2010 @ 10:55:19

    How awesome! 🙂 I love geeky couples and I love being in a geeky couple. Sounds like you’ve got yourself quite a catch…and we know you’re a catch too.

    Happy anniversary!


  3. Sarah
    Jul 08, 2010 @ 10:56:15

    Ahhh it’s so cute, you guys are so similar to my fiance and I. =) We’re getting married 3 months from tomorrow. We met on Craig’s List, and he bought me the Timer Turner from Harry Potter on our 2nd date. I knew right then he was a keeper! We bought a house together last year, and have a huge finished basement room with our gaming computers, a 65″ TV, and our video game consoles. We used to play WoW on dates. We love love love being a geek couple!

    The hell hath no fury line is from Mall Rats but it referred to Sega right?


    • Sarah
      Jul 08, 2010 @ 10:57:26

      ARGH “Time Turner.” I hate typos. Should have proof-read. 😦


    • girlsaregeeks
      Jul 08, 2010 @ 11:14:28

      Mallrats win! Yup. We love Kevin Smith’s Askewverse, and have been to his comic shop a few times. I cannot wait to have a house with a gaming room. We’ve been planning it for years, but aren’t stable enough for a house yet.


  4. Budd
    Jul 08, 2010 @ 15:45:05

    I don’t have a geeky wife 😦 She actually discourages my geekiness. congrats.


  5. Jaclyn
    Jul 14, 2010 @ 15:42:51

    That sounds so much like how my husband and I met and are still. We had our first child two years ago, and he too is showing signs of geekness and I couldn’t be more proud.


  6. Hunter
    Aug 10, 2010 @ 09:44:58

    Not to rain on whatever, but the quote is much older than Mallrats:

    But I did reenact the schooner-boat-magic eye picture scene with a friend the other day. Great flic.


    • GirlsAreGeeks
      Aug 10, 2010 @ 09:48:05

      I am aware of the true quote origins, but since it specifically refers to video games in Mallrats (… woman scorned by Sega), that’s where I got the idea at the time. I think we had watched Mallrats pretty recently at that point, although Chasing Amy is both of our favorites. Strange considering it’s the one where the relationship doesn’t work out, right!



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July 2010
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