How To Have A Klingon Feast

Earlier this month, our friend Emily at SciFabulous challenged her readers to a Geeky Food Contest. The idea was to create a recipe for a food in your favorite creative franchise universe. Well, I am into a lot of franchises and universes, but at my core, I’m a die hard trekkie (with a minor crush on Wil Wheaton!). I’m also a bit of a cook in my spare time. Therefore, I present to you today, not 1, not 2, but 4 recipes in three courses of a Klingon Feast! Now I present you with the Soj (food) for your ‘uQ (dinner). tIv! (Enjoy!)

For each item, I will show the picture of the food as seen on Star Trek from Memory Alpha (the best Star Trek Wiki), the picture of my version, and the recipe.

Appetizer

Rokeg Blood Pie

English translation: Roasted red pepper hummus with radishes
.
Hummus
Cook chickpeas or buy canned
Mix together in food processor:
1 cup chickpeas, cooked, drained
3 tbsp olive oil 

2 tbsp lemon juice

1 tsp sea salt
1/4 cup chopped roasted red peppers
Pour into bowl
Remove greens from radishes and place into hummus sticking out the top
To eat, feel free to cut up the radishes and dip them in the hummus, yum! Also, healthy. You’ll find that with all my food, I’m kind of a healthy cook. It goes along with the exercise habits. I found the colored radishes at the local farmer’s market and thought they looked just perfect!
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Main Meal
Side Dish
Gagh

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English translation: Buckwheat Pasta with Marinara

Pasta

1 cup buckwheat flour
1 tsp xanthan gum
1 egg
Knead those together really, really, really well. Knead like you actually are a klingon. No really. When you think it’s soft enough, knead a bit more.
Roll out the dough thin and cut into strips
Use fork tines to make the worm-like segments
Boil pasta for 10-15 min (depending on thickness) until tender
I’m gluten-intolerant, meaning wheat flour makes me super-sick, so I have buckwheat around. I happened to notice it was just the right brownish ugly color for worms. Bad for pancakes, good for gagh! Although, less wriggly.
Top with your favorite marinara for a bloody appearance. Mine is crushed tomatoes cooked with processed garlic, onion, zucchini, yellow squash, and banana peppers.
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Main Meal
Meat
Heart of Targ
English translation: Beef Heart
Okay, so here I didn’t get too creative, but I had to get my husband to actually eat it, and he’s a bit picky about his beef heart. I did totally buy from my Farmer’s Market a local, fresh, grass-fed, beef heart. I also cut it up and it was seriously bloody. If you are squeamish, don’t play with beef heart. Then I just baked it at 325F for about an hour. I served mine with gluten-free bread stuffing, so it didn’t look like heart while eating. Still, we ate heart. That’s cool, right?
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Dessert

Zilm’kach

English translation: Apricots with Balsamic Maple Sauce

Slice fresh apricots, I used 3
Sautee in 2 tbsp butter, 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar, 1 tbsp real maple syrup (Mine was Massachusetts local, because you know, I can.)
Cook over medium heat until sauce thickens and apricots are tender
I ate these just in the sauce, but they would be excellent over yogurt, cottage cheese, or ice cream.
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Okay. That’s my Klingon Feast, Rokeg Blood Pie, Gagh, Heart of Targ, and Zilm’kach. Now. JaH vut tlhIH maj SoD! (Go cook yourselves some good food!)
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What? I have to use my Klingon dictionary for something worthwhile, right?
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What kinds of geeky food do you make? And don’t forget to enter SciFabulous’s contest if you do! It ends soon!
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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ruth
    May 24, 2010 @ 11:05:18

    I’m not sure I could stomach the heart, but the feast looks awesome! 🙂 The kitchen’s about my least creative place…but @Autumnbuck showed me a cool BSG seal chocolate mold. So if I make those, I’ll post pics.

    Reply

    • girlsaregeeks
      May 24, 2010 @ 13:25:55

      Heart is surprisingly normal once cooked. It’s just muscle, so it’s kind of like very dark meat turkey, only a little more dense. It works very well baked and stuffed, and then I even made gravy from the drippings.

      Reply

  2. Emmi
    May 24, 2010 @ 11:25:52

    I told you yesterday when you entered this was awesome, and it most certainly still is! So impressive! I look forward to the gagh…

    Reply

  3. Amy
    May 24, 2010 @ 23:32:53

    Wow, impressive recreations. I especially like the take on the blood pie. Oh, could you imagine a Klingon themed dinner party? 😀

    Reply

  4. Trackback: Geeky Food Contest Update! | SciFabulous!

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